Things Men Don't Want Their Women to Do

Have you seen those Likeness quizzes on Facebook? I've taken a few. They can be fun.

But I was quite curious - and wary - when this one showed up in my notifications: "Things Men Don't Want Their Women to Do."

And I've always had a problem with the phrases "their women," "my woman," etc. I understand that so-called "possessive" pronouns do not always indicate actual possession (e.g., "OMG I missed my turn!"). I do not own that turn. "My" can also often indicate relationship. We have girlfriends, wives, mistresses, friends, and mothers, but it just doesn't sound right to say we have women. Does this bother anyone else? Or is it just me? Maybe it's the heteronormativity of it. Maybe it's just that the only people I hear use such phrases in real life are those I already know to have sexist attitudes.

Anyway. So what are we ranking, pray tell?

-wear nightgowns
-shop in house slippers
-wear jean capri pants
-dress up our dogs
-start scrap booking
-make us wear xmas clothes
-let ur mother move in
-pick matching outfits
-cut your hair
-gain weight

Of course. I feel like running out and doing ALL THESE THINGS. AT ONCE. Just for the hell of it.

So if you see some crazy-looking short-haired fat lady out shopping for scrapbooking gear while wearing a nightgown and houseslippers (with capri jeans underneath), accompanied by a man wearing a xmas sweater, capri jeans, and houseslippers, while walking a sweater-wearing dog, then know it is me. Oh, and my mother will be with us, as well.